Are you tired of being told to "rise and grind"? Do you believe that waking up before noon is a personal attack? You are not alone. You have a leader. And he is a bear.
Meet Barry. Barry is a brown bear who embodies "Monday Morning Energy." He is not here to motivate you. He is not here to tell you to make your bed. He is here to tell you that it is perfectly scientifically valid to stay in it.
Barry Says No to Mornings is the essential manifesto for the sleep-deprived, the groggy, and the cozy. With 101 irrefutable reasons to hit snooze, this book provides the logical defense you need to reject the tyranny of the alarm clock and embrace the "horizontal lifestyle."
Inside this guide to doing absolutely nothing, you will discover:
- The Physics of Bed: Why gravity is scientifically stronger at 7:00 AM.
- The Wardrobe Malfunction: Why pants are essentially "leg prisons" and buttons are impossible for paws.
- Social Defense Strategies: How to handle the "Good Morning" lie and why eye contact before coffee is an act of aggression.
- The Engineering Failures: The tragedy of the cereal box and the "easy open" tab.
- The Philosophy of Snooze: Why the bed is the most loyal relationship you will ever have.
Whether you are hiding from your roommates, dreading the commute, or simply trying to survive the transition from "asleep" to "employee," Barry understands.
Perfect for fans of dry humor, introverts, and anyone who has ever considered quitting their job to live in a blanket fort.
Stop maximizing your productivity. Start maximizing your nap. Buy this book and go back to sleep.
