Game Over | Hoodie

You haven’t stopped working. You’ve just stopped trying. Retirement isn’t an age; it’s a state of mind. Specifically, the state of mind where you decide that attending parties requires too much paperwork. Barry has officially clocked out of society. This design captures the ultimate goal of every introvert. Barry is fully reclined in a hammock, hands behind his head, wearing sunglasses and a bucket hat that scream “do not approach”. Next to him, a wooden sign reads “GONE FISHIN’”, confirming that he is unavailable for plans, drama, or small talk. The text “socially retired” hangs above, announcing your permanent departure from the social scene. Why this hoodie is your retirement package: • Official Notice: It lets people know that your social career is over. You are now strictly a consultant for your own couch. • Vacation-Level Comfort: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this hoodie is as comfortable as that hammock looks. The brushed fleece interior keeps you warm while you ignore invitations. • Hideaway Hood: The double-lined hood allows you to retreat further into your shell if someone tries to network with you. • Durable: The ribbed cuffs and waistband ensure the hoodie stays in shape, even if you spend the next 30 years wearing it to do absolutely nothing. The Specs: • Style: Classic Fit Hoodie • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) • Features: Tear-away label, color-matched drawcord, kangaroo pocket Clock out. Lie down. You’re done. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.08 22.05 24.02 25.98 27.99 29.92 Length, in 27.17 27.95 29.13 29.92 31.10 31.89 Sleeve length from center back, in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50  

See no drama. Hear no drama. Speak no… actually, just don’t speak to me. The ancient proverb of the “Three Wise Monkeys” has been updated for the modern introvert. In this version, wisdom isn’t about moral integrity; it’s about successfully ignoring everything that is happening around you. This design features a trio of Barrys demonstrating the perfect strategy for a peaceful life. The first bear covers his eyes to avoid making eye contact; the second covers his ears to block out unwanted conversations; and the third covers his mouth to stop himself from saying what he really thinks. Above them, the mantra “no no no” repeats, serving as a comprehensive answer to any request. Why this hoodie is your ultimate hiding spot: • Complete Denial: It’s the perfect garment for days when you just can’t deal. It tells the world that your sensory inputs are currently disconnected. • Hoodie Mode: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this hoodie features a double-lined hood with a matching drawcord. Pull it up tight to add a fourth layer of “no” to the design. • Kangaroo Pocket: The spacious front pocket provides a warm place to hide your hands (so you don’t have to wave at anyone). • Warm & Durable: The medium-heavy fabric is perfect for keeping out the cold, while the ribbed cuffs and waistband ensure the hoodie stays in place while you practice avoidance. The Specs: • Style: Classic Fit Hoodie • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) • Features: Tear-away label, color-matched drawcord, kangaroo pocket Don’t look. Don’t listen. Just say no. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.08 22.05 24.02 25.98 27.99 29.92 Length, in 27.17 27.95 29.13 29.92 31.10 31.89 Sleeve length from center back, in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50