The “Morning Routine” Myth: Why the Sun is Actually the Enemy
Every day, the internet tries to sell you a terrifying lie. This narrative is aggressively pushed by people who are inexplicably cheerful before 10 AM. They claim that to be...
Bad Ideas
I Went Outdoors (A Review)
There is a rumor going around that because I am a bear, I am contractually obligated to enjoy "Nature." People see fur and claws and assume I want to frolic...
I Bought a “Smart” Watch (It Thinks I Am Dead)
It started with a targeted ad, as all modern tragedies do. The internet knows I am a bear of leisure. Yet, for some reason, it decided I needed to "optimize...
Review: The “Green Goddess” Smoothie (Or: Why I Drank My Lawn)
It started, as most terrible ideas do, with a New Year's Resolution. We are twelve days into January. By now, most people have already abandoned their gym memberships and rediscovered...