Showing 25–30 of 30 results
This Bag Is Too Heavy | Canvas Tote Bag
$24.99A heavy-duty bag for people who hate heavy lifting. Adulthood is mostly just moving objects from one place to another until you get tired. Barry is here to complain about it so you don’t have to. This tote features Barry in the middle of a grocery run, sweating profusely and struggling to carry a bag overflowing with bread and milk, accompanied by the bold declaration: “This Bag Is Too Heavy”. It is the perfect accessory for the farmer’s market, the grocery store, or carrying your laptop back and forth to a job you’d rather not go to. Why this tote is the only thing carrying you today: • Built to Carry Your Burdens: Made from 100% cotton canvas with heavy fabric (12 oz/yd²), this bag is incredibly durable. It can handle the weight of your groceries, your books, or your emotional baggage. • Honest Design: While other bags have inspirational quotes, this one states a simple fact: carrying things is hard. Barry’s distressed expression perfectly captures the physical toll of buying milk. • Two Moods (Colors): Available in Natural (for when you want to look eco-friendly) and Black (for when you want to hide dirt and look mysterious). The Specs: • Material: 100% Cotton Canvas (Durable, eco-friendly) • Weight: Heavy fabric (12 oz/yd² or 406.9 g/m²)—it’s tough, unlike Barry. • Size: 15″ x 16″ • Colors: Natural or Black • Use Case: Carrying snacks from the store to the couch. Fill it up. Complain about the weight. Go home. 15″ x 16″ Width, in 15.00 Length, in 16.00 Handle length, in 20.00
Too Cold To Care | Sweatshirt
$39.99The forecast calls for freezing temperatures and zero motivation. When the air hurts your face, you are legally allowed to stop trying. Barry has embraced this philosophy completely. This design features Barry in the ultimate state of winter misery. He is bundled up in a thick beanie, a chunky scarf, and a massive white blanket, yet he still looks frozen to the core. With icicles hanging from his fur and a scowl on his face, he sits beneath the text “too cold to care”—a sentiment that perfectly explains why you aren’t coming to that outdoor event. Why this sweatshirt is your survival gear: • The Truth About Winter: It validates your refusal to leave the house. If anyone asks you to do something, just point to the icicles on the bear. • Warmth You Can Feel: Made from a cozy 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this crewneck is the layer you need to thaw out your soul. The interior is brushed fleece, making it soft, warm, and perfect for hibernation. • Loose Fit for Layers: The fit is relaxed and roomy, meaning you can wear it over other shirts (or pajamas) for maximum insulation. • Durable: The ribbed knit collar and cuffs help lock in warmth and keep the sweatshirt in shape, even after a long winter of daily wear. The Specs: • Style: Classic Crewneck Sweatshirt • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) • Fit: Loose fit (Runs true to size) Stay warm. Stay grumpy. Do not go outside. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.00 22.01 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50
Too Sane To Work | T-Shirt
$24.99The only thing crazy about you is that you’re still sitting at this desk. Have you ever looked at a spreadsheet and thought, “Surely there is more to life than this?” Barry has. And he has decided that working this hard is simply irrational. This design features Barry at his absolute breaking point in a chaotic office setting. Surrounded by a towering stack of paperwork, a half-eaten donut, and a tangle of wires that represents his mental state, he sits with his chin in his hand, staring blankly into the void. The text “too sane to work” floats above him, validating your suspicion that the corporate world is the true madness. Why this shirt is your new office uniform: • Silent Resignation: It perfectly articulates the feeling of being overqualified, under-caffeinated, and completely done with meetings that could have been emails. • Classic Comfort: Made from 100% heavy cotton, this tee is durable enough to withstand the daily grind. The classic fit is loose and comfortable, allowing you to slump in your office chair without restriction. • Itch-Free Living: The label is printed directly on the fabric. We removed the tag because you have enough irritations in your life (like your inbox). • Durable: Taped neck and shoulders ensure this shirt holds up, even if your career motivation doesn’t. The Specs: • Fabric: 100% Cotton (Fiber content may vary for different colors) • Weight: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)) • Fit: Classic Fit (Runs true to size) Clock in. Zone out. Stay sane. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50
Whatever | Sweatshirt
$39.99The official uniform of indifference. Sometimes, you don’t have an opinion. Sometimes, you don’t have the energy to form one. For those moments, there is this sweatshirt. The design features Barry in a pose of total apathy: shrugging his shoulders, looking up at the ceiling, and clearly wishing he was somewhere else. The bold text “whatever” sits above him, providing the perfect answer to every question you didn’t want to be asked in the first place. Why this sweatshirt is your new favorite response: • Effortless Attitude: It conveys a clear message so you don’t have to waste your breath. • Warmth Without Work: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this crewneck keeps you toasty warm while you give the cold shoulder. The interior is brushed fleece, perfect for staying cozy while you ignore your to-do list. • Loose & Relaxed: The fit is roomy and comfortable, allowing you to shrug freely without restriction. • Durable: The ribbed knit collar and cuffs help the sweatshirt hold its shape, even after years of indifferent wear. The Specs: • Style: Classic Crewneck Sweatshirt • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) • Fit: Loose fit (Runs true to size) Stay warm. Shrug it off. Whatever. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.00 22.01 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50
Whatever | T-Shirt
$24.99The universal answer to every question you don’t want to answer. “What do you want for dinner?” “Can you finish this report by 5 PM?” “Do you think aliens are real?” The answer is always the same: Whatever. This shirt features Barry in a pose of pure, unadulterated apathy. With a shrug of his shoulders and eyes rolling toward the ceiling, he perfectly captures the feeling of giving up on a conversation before it even starts. The bold “whatever” text does the talking for you, saving you the precious breath required to speak. Why this shirt is the path of least resistance: • Effortless Communication: Why explain your feelings when a shrug does the job? This shirt signals to the world that you are neutral, uninterested, and would like to go back to sleep. • Classic Comfort: Made from 100% cotton, this tee is breathable and soft. It’s a classic fit, meaning it’s not too tight (constricting) or too loose (drafty). It just exists, just like you. • Itch-Free Experience: We printed the label directly on the fabric. Scratchy tags are annoying, and being annoyed takes too much energy. • Durable: With taped neck and shoulders, this shirt is built to last through years of indifferent shrugging and couch-surfing. The Specs: • Fabric: 100% Cotton (Fiber content may vary for different colors) • Weight: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)) • Fit: Classic Fit (Runs true to size) Wear it. Shrug. Move on. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50
ZZZ | Hoodie
$49.99The universal subtitle for “I am currently unavailable.” Sometimes, you don’t need a character or a quote to get your point across. You just need a sound effect. This hoodie is the visual equivalent of snoring loudly while someone tries to talk to you. The design features three bold, chunky “Z”s floating diagonally—the classic comic book symbol for deep sleep. It’s a minimalist statement that says you are either physically asleep, mentally checked out, or actively bored by the current situation. Why this hoodie is your new pajama top (that you wear outside): • Clear Communication: It lets everyone know that your operating system is currently in sleep mode. • Nap-Ready Comfort: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this hoodie is essentially a wearable blanket. The brushed fleece interior is perfect for dozing off in class, at work, or on the couch. • Hoodie Features: The double-lined hood acts as an eye mask if you pull it down far enough, and the kangaroo pocket is the perfect hand-warmer for chilly naps. • Durable: The ribbed cuffs and waistband keep the heat in, ensuring you stay cozy even if you are hibernating through the winter. The Specs: • Style: Classic Fit Hoodie • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) • Features: Tear-away label, color-matched drawcord, kangaroo pocket Wear it. Zone out. ZZZ. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.08 22.05 24.02 25.98 27.99 29.92 Length, in 27.17 27.95 29.13 29.92 31.10 31.89 Sleeve length from center back, in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50