Not Here | T-Shirt

Your auto-reply is on. Your brain is off. There is no feeling quite like setting your email status to “Away” and closing your laptop. Barry has taken it a step further: he has mentally checked out completely. This design features the ultimate vacation vibe. Barry is reclined comfortably in a deck chair, sporting a bucket hat and sunglasses to block out the haters (and the sun). With a tropical cocktail in hand—complete with a tiny umbrella—he looks thoroughly pleased with his decision to ignore his responsibilities. The text “out of office” floats above him, serving as a permanent notification to anyone who tries to talk to you about spreadsheets. Why this shirt is your vacation essential: • Permanent Vacation Mode: Even if you are just sitting in your backyard, this shirt declares that you are mentally in the tropics. It tells the world, “I am not checking Slack.” • Classic Comfort: Made from 100% heavy cotton, this tee is breathable and soft—perfect for beach days or “staycation” naps. The classic fit is relaxed, allowing for maximum airflow and comfort. • Itch-Free Living: The label is printed directly on the fabric. We removed the tag because you shouldn’t have to deal with scratchy distractions while you are busy doing absolutely nothing. • Durable: Taped neck and shoulders ensure this shirt survives the wash, the sand, and the wear and tear of intense relaxation. The Specs: • Fabric: 100% Cotton (Fiber content may vary for different colors) • Weight: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)) • Fit: Classic Fit (Runs true to size) Sip the drink. Block the sun. Ignore the emails. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50  

The only thing crazy about you is that you’re still sitting at this desk. Have you ever looked at a spreadsheet and thought, “Surely there is more to life than this?” Barry has. And he has decided that working this hard is simply irrational. This design features Barry at his absolute breaking point in a chaotic office setting. Surrounded by a towering stack of paperwork, a half-eaten donut, and a tangle of wires that represents his mental state, he sits with his chin in his hand, staring blankly into the void. The text “too sane to work” floats above him, validating your suspicion that the corporate world is the true madness. Why this shirt is your new office uniform: • Silent Resignation: It perfectly articulates the feeling of being overqualified, under-caffeinated, and completely done with meetings that could have been emails. • Classic Comfort: Made from 100% heavy cotton, this tee is durable enough to withstand the daily grind. The classic fit is loose and comfortable, allowing you to slump in your office chair without restriction. • Itch-Free Living: The label is printed directly on the fabric. We removed the tag because you have enough irritations in your life (like your inbox). • Durable: Taped neck and shoulders ensure this shirt holds up, even if your career motivation doesn’t. The Specs: • Fabric: 100% Cotton (Fiber content may vary for different colors) • Weight: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)) • Fit: Classic Fit (Runs true to size) Clock in. Zone out. Stay sane. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50  

You’re not anti-social. You’re just pro-solitude. Some days, you wake up and the thought of interacting with another human being is just too much. Barry understands. This shirt is your personal warning label. It features Barry in a moment of pure, unfiltered social aversion, pinching his nose and waving away the general public with a look of utter disgust. The bold text “ew, people” hovering above him says what you’re thinking, so you don’t have to. It’s the perfect tee for crowded commutes, mandatory office parties, or family gatherings. Why this shirt is your new favorite defense mechanism: • Express Yourself (Without Speaking): Why waste energy talking to people when your shirt can insult them for you? This tee signals that your social battery is drained, and you are not accepting new connections. • Classic Comfort: This tee is made from 100% cotton, so it’s soft, breathable, and comfortable enough for a full day of avoiding eye contact. • Itch-Free Living: The label is printed directly onto the fabric. No scratching, no adjusting, just pure, uninterrupted comfort while you judge everyone from a distance. • Durable: The taped neck and shoulders mean this shirt can handle the wear and tear of your daily struggle against socialization. The Specs: • Fabric: 100% Cotton (Fiber content may vary for different colors) • Weight: Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)) • Fit: Classic Fit (Runs true to size—not too tight, not too loose, just right for hiding) Wear it. Avoid eye contact. Go home. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50