Socially Retired | Hoodie

See no drama. Hear no drama. Speak no… actually, just don’t speak to me. The ancient proverb of the “Three Wise Monkeys” has been updated for the modern introvert. In this version, wisdom isn’t about moral integrity; it’s about successfully ignoring everything that is happening around you. This design features a trio of Barrys demonstrating the perfect strategy for a peaceful life. The first bear covers his eyes to avoid making eye contact; the second covers his ears to block out unwanted conversations; and the third covers his mouth to stop himself from saying what he really thinks. Above them, the mantra “no no no” repeats, serving as a comprehensive answer to any request. Why this hoodie is your ultimate hiding spot: • Complete Denial: It’s the perfect garment for days when you just can’t deal. It tells the world that your sensory inputs are currently disconnected. • Hoodie Mode: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this hoodie features a double-lined hood with a matching drawcord. Pull it up tight to add a fourth layer of “no” to the design. • Kangaroo Pocket: The spacious front pocket provides a warm place to hide your hands (so you don’t have to wave at anyone). • Warm & Durable: The medium-heavy fabric is perfect for keeping out the cold, while the ribbed cuffs and waistband ensure the hoodie stays in place while you practice avoidance. The Specs: • Style: Classic Fit Hoodie • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) • Features: Tear-away label, color-matched drawcord, kangaroo pocket Don’t look. Don’t listen. Just say no. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.08 22.05 24.02 25.98 27.99 29.92 Length, in 27.17 27.95 29.13 29.92 31.10 31.89 Sleeve length from center back, in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50  

0 Lives Remaining. 100% Comfort. You fought the boss. You raced the track. You lost. Now, it is time to accept your fate and lie down. This hoodie captures the exact moment the screen goes black and the fatigue sets in. The design features Barry lying flat on his stomach, completely drained of energy, yet still clutching his controller as if his life depends on it. The text “game over” appears above him in a retro, pixelated font, signaling the end of the session—and the beginning of a very long nap. Why this hoodie is your new gaming uniform: • Rage-Quit Ready: Whether you just lost a ranked match or finished a 12-hour marathon, this hoodie understands your pain. • Level Up Your Comfort: Made from a soft 50/50 cotton-polyester blend, this hoodie features a brushed fleece interior. It’s the perfect gear for staying warm in a cold gaming room. • Controller Storage: The spacious kangaroo pocket is perfect for warming your hands between rounds or hiding your snacks from player two. • Durable: The ribbed cuffs and waistband keep the hoodie in place, even when you are aggressively leaning forward in your chair to focus. The Specs: • Style: Classic Fit Hoodie • Fabric: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester • Weight: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) • Features: Tear-away label, color-matched drawcord, kangaroo pocket Press X to respawn. Or just go to sleep. S M L XL 2XL 3XL Width, in 20.08 22.05 24.02 25.98 27.99 29.92 Length, in 27.17 27.95 29.13 29.92 31.10 31.89 Sleeve length from center back, in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50