Let’s Never “Circle Back” (And Other Office Lies)
There are very few things in this world that can strike fear into my heart. I am, after all, a bear. However, there is one specific sequence of pixels that...
Tags: barry says no
I Went Outdoors (A Review)
There is a rumor going around that because I am a bear, I am contractually obligated to enjoy "Nature." People see fur and claws and assume I want to frolic...
The Streaming Paralysis (Why My Dinner Is Always Cold)
It is 7:00 PM. The conditions for happiness have been met. I have successfully ordered a pizza. It has arrived. The box is warm, the cheese is melty, and the...
The Conspiracy of Fitted Sheets
I usually try to avoid conflict. I am a bear who prefers peace, snacks, and silence. But today, I must speak out against an enemy that has been mocking us...
Review: The “Green Goddess” Smoothie (Or: Why I Drank My Lawn)
It started, as most terrible ideas do, with a New Year's Resolution. We are twelve days into January. By now, most people have already abandoned their gym memberships and rediscovered...